July 13, 2010

Psst. Have You Heard The Latest?

Latest issue of Barnyard Gossipclick image to biggify

Insider sources tell us that the great barnyard romance between Lord Barred Holland and Crybaby appears to have come to an end.

"I just woke up one morning," stated Lord B, "and realized, hey! I'm a chicken!"

His Lordship has recently been seen in the company of a bevy of beautiful pullets, strutting his stuff and chasing the other cockerels away.

Lord B & his beautiesCrybaby was not available for comment, but according to her mother responded to the rumors by saying,

"Lord Who?"

Exclusive shots taken by our staff photographer, have confirmed speculations that she is indeed seeing someone else.

Baby & new beauWhile his identity remains a mystery, Barnyard Gossip has verified that he is an Ameraucana cockerel.

Ameraucana hunkGossip mongers report that he can be seen on the coop roof first thing every morning, after being chased around the chicken yard by Lord B himself.

Ameraucana rooster on the rooftopHe walks along the roof line and flies down into the goat field, where the chickens currently free range in the afternoon. The chickens aren't allowed into the field until later, so he has the goats to himself all morning.

Of the Ameraucana's daily escape, coop keeper Leigh stated, "It's just as well. Otherwise he runs into the coop and tries to hide in Ms. Delaware's egg laying spot. Not that it does him any good, because his tail sticks out and he talks to himself the entire time he thinks he's hiding."

Of Lord B's sudden interest in the hens, she said, "I think it was basically a maturity issue. According to the American Breeds Livestock Conservancy, Hollands have a slow to moderate growth rate, meaning they are slower to mature than many breeds. Once his hormones kicked in, he knew what he was about."

She also noted that Lord B still does his happy dance when he runs up to greet the goats. "He just doesn't hang out with them anymore," she said.

When asked about his rival, Lord B was overheard to say,

"He's soup."

You read it here first, folks.

28 comments:

  1. I laughed! I cried! Two thumbs waaay up!

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  2. I think you're a hoot! You OBVIOUSLY missed your calling as a gossip columnist.

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  3. Way cool! Might have to steal the magazine cover idea for my own blog sometime ... Imitation and flattery, you know!

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  4. Brilliant! Looking forward to the sequel.

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  5. too funny. how's egg productions?

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  6. Maggie, thanks!

    Michelle, I confess, it was a lot of fun to write!

    Jo, I can't remember where I first saw the magazine cover idea. I think they'd make great individualized gifts, framed etc.

    Evelyn, thanks! My DH says I need to go into the magazine business. :p

    Renee, of my 7 pullets, 4 are laying, so I get anywhere from 2 to 4 eggs per day. The Delaware and green egg laying Ameraucana are the most consistent. The Welsummers have yet to produce egg one!

    So glad you enjoyed it Robin. ;)

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  7. Steamy sex in the barnyard. Animal passions. Alas, where will it end?
    Too, too funny!

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  8. Haha, great blog! Love the magazine cover!! Great storylines! I'm glad Lord B came around. How's his bumblefoot? I didn't see a wrapped foot in the pics...

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  9. That was so funny! I still haven't found out if I can have chickens yet but I'm pretty sure not a rooster! He is just beautiful!

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  10. hilarious - better than the so-called celebs any day:)) at least your "stars" are good looking!

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  11. Interesting that your egg production mirrors the way ours started, at least in the breeds we have in common (Easter Eggers and Welsummer). But for some reason my green-egg-layer has petered out completely this summer!

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  12. Alice, when we got our chickens and goats, I never dreamed the kinds of antics we were in for. Never a dull moment!

    Lynn, thanks. Lord B's bumblefoot is completely resolved. It took longer to heal than I anticipated, but there's no limping and no swelling anymore, though he still tends to hold that foot up. I did add activated charcoal for the last several days treatment, as it has a drawing and purifying effect.

    Julie, you're probably right about roosters. They do tend to be loud! Hopefully you can keep a couple of hens though.

    Bettina, much more entertaining for sure. :)

    Michelle, that's interesting about the eggs. Do you remember at what age your Wellies started laying? For mine, I hope it's soon!

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  13. That was great! Thanks for the laughs. - Carrie

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  14. I only have one Welsummer, and as I recall she may have started a couple months (at least a month) after the others.

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  15. Now that was very cute! :-)

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  16. Carrie, your very welcome. I've been keeping an eye on your post about your chickens not laying, hoping someone would have an answer that would apply to my Welsummers too.

    Michelle, I just got in from the hen house and today's egg total is 5, unfortunately 2 were shell-less. That means one of the Wellies has started to lay! She just needs to get some shell on those things!

    Farmgirl & Icebear, I'm delighted you enjoyed it!

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  17. That was hysterical!!! Loved it!

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  18. FUNNY!!!! Reporter did a wonderful job.

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  19. I love the "cover!" All, the many sordid things that goes on in a barnyard - like soap operas!

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  20. Sara, Barb, & Benita, thank you! Folks that have them say it over and over and it's true - animal antics are better than TV!

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  21. Did this make it to twitter yet?? I wonder when the tabloids will pick this up? haha, love it.

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  22. I think you have a second career as a comic writer, that's what I think!

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  23. Soup? Oh, yeah... new man on the scene.

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  24. Katrien, thanks!

    Bety, actually I did tweet about it but I'm not much of a twitter celeb so I doubt anyone noticed! :)

    Sharon, I would love a career as a writer. And with my barnyard to provide the comedy....

    Callie, he is eventually destined for the soup pot. Three roosters just isn't cutting it!

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  25. I think you chooks are hillarious :^)

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