November 25, 2020

Thankful For...

When someone ask you what you're thankful for, what comes to mind? People? Things? Circumstances? In reflecting on that question, I'm realizing that this year, I'm thankful for something different. I'm thankful for a lesson learned. It's something I've always known intellectually but have never been able to actually own. That may be an odd thing to be thankful for, but hey! This is 2020! 

What's the lesson? It's that I'm the guardian of my eyes, ears, heart, and soul. And that means I'm the guardian of my emotions. No one else, me. I can feed my emotions things that keep me in a worried, fearful dither, or I can feed my emotions things that promote well-being and calm. I choose. I choose what I look at, what I listen to, and what I think about. 

Have you ever noticed the connection between thoughts and emotions? Thoughts can either be presented to us from outside sources (through seeing and hearing), or they can be memories. Sometimes we simply set these thoughts aside, but how often do we have emotional reactions to them? Our emotions keep us thinking about them, and our thoughts feed the emotional response. Have you ever found yourself caught in this cycle and wondered, why am I doing this to myself?

I have! And this year, I'm finally learning to say to myself, "Quit it! Quit beating a highway down neural pathways that don't take me where I want to go. Stop feeding thoughts that destroy my peace and rob me of my sense of well-being, especially for things over which I have no control. Choose to focus on something else. Choose things that are worthy of being dwelt on and ignore the rest."

I'm not saying I've perfected this yet, but this year, I've made a lot of progress toward learning that I'm in control of my thought life, not my emotions. I'm exceedingly thankful for that.

Thankful For... © November 2020

23 comments:

Sandi said...

"I can feed my emotions things that keep me in a worried, fearful dither, or I can feed my emotions things that promote well-being and calm. I choose. I choose what I look at, what I listen to, and what I think about."

So wise!

Mama Pea said...

Making an effort every single day (every single hour, minute, second?) to be appreciative and thankful for my life and living environment is what I've been working on. And I'm finding that enables me to be in control of my thought life AND emotions! Such a well put post, Leigh. Thanks.

daisy g said...

"Be here now" is one of my favorite mantras. It really keeps me centered on what is good about this very moment.

This practice will serve you well. Enjoy the peace!

Yvie said...

"Choose things that are worthy of being dwelt on and ignore the rest."
That's been a difficult task, given all we've faced this year, and yet it's been the most worthwhile place to put our efforts. Never were truer words written than this thankfulness post. :)

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

Leigh, this is one of my great struggles (I, like you, have neural pathways that prefer nothing to running riot with potential outcomes). For me, it means that I have to have an almost total and complete ban on most media and current events and focus my time attention on those things that I can control, not those things I cannot.

It is a struggle, to be sure. But the short moments I have it suggest it is truly worthwhile to pursue.

Boud said...

Yes to this. Important to realize what self care really means to you as an individual, and to practice it. Different for each of us. Well done on finding your own path. Happy Thanksgiving!

Ed said...

I don't know if it is optimism or that I'm a master of my thoughts but I rarely dwell on thoughts outside of my own personal bubble, even when everyone around me seems to be going crazy with thoughts such as in the last election cycle. If I hear something worrisome, I just tell myself that this too shall pass and move on with life.

Valerie said...

It's not just thoughts, but also actions. I call it mood management.

For about 10 years now I have refused to enter the closest grocery store (owned by a big chain) because I recognized that upon entering that store I could feel my mood deteriorate into anger and frustration. The people (employees & customers) were rude. The stock on the shelves were shifted around every few weeks in order to keep customers browsing around in the store longer (the staff hours required to move that stuff paid for by same customers). Until that one day, I realized that it was essential to my mood and mental health to just walk away for good.

It's inconvenient to go a little further to shop. But my business is going to smaller retailers that support the local community. And my mood is on much more even keel when I must shop. It also turns out that during the pandemic, these smaller grocers have also been the safer alternative.

Cockeyed Jo said...

Living life is about choices and adaptations. I give myself 15 minutes I even set a timer) on the self pity pot every so often, because it's a good release of negativity. Then, I get off and let someone else use it. The same goes for the news and other things that are downers in life. Then I change the things I can and the rest I give to God because I CAN'T.

wyomingheart said...

Perfect post, Leigh! A great reminder for centering and calming, and being thankful for what we can control. I am extremely aware of my blessings, and whenever the noise gets too loud in my brain, that deep breath - and focusing my eyes on the beauty of the ridge will silence the noise to a peaceful murmur. I am so thankful for all our blog friends, as well. ☺️
Happy Thanksgiving to you and Dan, and all creatures big and small!

Retired Knitter said...

Such a worthy thing to be thankful for. Wisdom. Thanks for that reminder.

Leigh said...

Sandi, it's doing it that's the challenge! I have to admit I can't believe how long it's actually taken me to begin to put it in practice.

Mama Pea, that's it exactly! I agree it's an effort (negative emotions are such stubborn things) but appreciation and thankfulness are the key!

Daisy, I think we all need some sort of mantra or reminder to bring ourselves back on track. It just takes practice to bring it to mind quickly. Nipping negative thoughts in the bud really makes a difference.

Yvie, yes, it is difficult. But what we've faced this year has made it clear to me that it's more important than ever. Well worth the effort!

TB, the so-called news media is the culprit for a lot of us. They're in the business of pushing buttons to get reactions, after all, for ratings. I am finding that much of my thought life is by habit. I habitually react certain ways to certain stimuli, and that's what I'm focusing on changing. Not going there is a good start!

Boud, "self care," I like that! Considering how stress weakens the immune system, now more than ever is a good time to do what we can to learn how to control our stress triggers, rather than letting them control us.

Ed, that's excellent. And good advice for the rest of us. I think it was Elisabeth Elliot who frequently said, "just do the next thing." I often find that by doing that next thing, my mind turns its focus to the task at hand and away from the temptation to fret.

Valerie, yes, that's a good point. I've come to that conclusion too, especially now, with the various ways stores are handling "safety" measures. Common sense, I get, and respect. But I refused to be bullied and disrespected for counter-logical "rules."

Jo, that's pretty good!

Wyomingheart, "and whenever the noise gets too loud in my brain..." That's a good way to put it. Focusing on beauty is a huge help! That's more real than running down a list of worrisome "what ifs" and "if onlys."

RT, may we all be able to put it into practice!

Florida Farm Girl said...

I try very hard to not buy in to negativity and hateful thinking. It only hurts me in the end so I'm the one who has to control it. Doesn't mean that occasionally an outside influence won't sneak in a punch. Life is way too short to let it be consumed with unpleasant thoughts and people.

Leigh said...

Sue, your comment brings up a good point - that we must remain on constant guard against the thoughts that try to sneak in and take hold. And it's true, the person that gets hurt the most is the one with the runaway thoughts and emotions. The rest of life just goes on around them.

Michelle said...

I am so thankful that my mother drilled this sort of wisdom into me starting at a very early age! I've struggled with implementing it sometimes, but have always known the truth, which helps immensely when struggling to redirect my thoughts – I KNOW it will work. Happy Thanksgiving; we all have much to be thankful for.

LindaG said...

I/we have much to be thankful for. Just being here is the biggest.
Praise God!
You all be safe and have a blessed Thanksgiving, Leigh.

Leigh said...

Michelle, I've realized this year how much of a habit thought patterns can be. I've noticed how some of them kick in automatically when I'm doing certain activities that don't require a lot of thinking or concentration. Choosing another mental path has really helped with that!

Linda, just stopping to be thankful helps tremendously, don't you find? Always seems to improve my mood.

Nancy In Boise said...

I'm grateful for a TV remote when I just hit the "off" button more and more :)

Leigh said...

Nancy, yes! Back when we had TV, we always muted the commercials. Nowadays, there just isn't anything on there worth paying for.

Rosalea said...

Lovely post, Leigh. A lot of wisdom there. You are so right about us being in control of our own thoughts. Happy Thanksgiving to you and Dan.

Leigh said...

Rosalea, thank you! Happy Thanksgiving to you too!

Chris said...

Some of the personal challenges our family have experienced lately, demands this kind of insight too. It's validating to see your thoughts were heading in the same direction. As I know we haven't really touched base for a while. But the undercurrent of life itself, calls for simple relevancy. That's how we survive the turmoil.

Leigh said...

Chris, I think it's a lesson for all of us, there for the taking if we will. I think it ought to be everybody's "new normal."