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| Charlie |
Unfortunately, Failure To Thrive (FTT) is common in cria and weanling llamas or (alpacas). Although they appear normal at an early age, they later stop growing. Such was the case with Charlie. He never grew the entire time we had him. Pinpointing the cause is a slow, trial and error endeavor, often impossible because the causes are so varied: parasites, rickets, digestive abnormalities, iron deficiency anemia, immunodeficiency syndrome (JLIDS), low birth weight, birth defects, heart defects, thyroid problems, Coccidia even with CD/T immunizations, being weaned too young, Bovine Viral Diarrhea Virus (BVD virus or BVDV), even genetics, to name just some.
We knew something was wrong because even though his appetite was good, he kept losing weight. Twice he had diarrhea, for which fecals indicated parasites, so he was treated for these, along with probiotics and an electrolyte/vitamin supplement because of the diarrhea. These problems could have interfered with weight gain, but even when everything was normal, he continued to lose weight.
I talked with other llama owners on a llama forum about feed and weight loss, and switched from the sweet feed recommended by the breeder I bought him from, to a llama formulation. When that didn't help, I started offering it to him twice a day. I continued to give him probiotics and made sure he had a good free choice mineral supplement. I offered treats of carrots and apples, but he really wasn't interested in these. He continued to get thinner.
As the days went by he grew weaker, though he was still eating and his beans (manure) were normal. I started taking him out to fresher grazing in the yard, worrying because he was having trouble getting up and seemed wobbly on his legs. I had to force him to get up and move, because somehow he seemed to stop caring. It was at that point that I began to wonder if llamas could have such a thing as failure to thrive. I started to research, and discovered that it is actually quite common with young llamas. Too often however, by the time FTT is identified it's too late.
His last morning he couldn't even lift his head up. I had already accepted that he was dying, but his death was no less devastating to me. When it finally came, I was flooded both with grief, as well as a sense of a burden having been lifted. Dan was on the road at the time, but we spoke by phone and agreed on a burial place in the woods, a small cleared spot where someone had dumped a pile of dirt a long time ago.
I clipped Charlie's fleece, feeling that this gave some small meaning to his short life of 11 months. After that the only thing I felt like doing was digging. I didn't think I could dig a burial hole deep enough, but I figured I could start. I figured I'd dig as long as I could, and Dan could finish it when he got home the next day.
I worked slowly and thought about Charlie. I had become very attached to him because I had worked so closely with him for training. I thought about what happened to him and what I could have done differently. When I started first researching FTT, I learned about Indian Creek Llama Sanctuary in Tennessee, where Pat and George Brandon provide permanent homes for "unadoptable" llamas, and have a special interest in FTT. I had gotten in touch with them, and George was able to provide a lot of helpful information, as well as give me some sense of personal peace about Charlie's death.
I kept on digging. The ground was wet so the clay soil was heavy, but with a weather forecast of more rain and snow, I kept on digging. I needed a physical outlet for my grief, a channel for my emotions. By the time the sun was low in the sky, I had dug a huge deep hole, big enough for Charlie's final resting place. I covered the grave with logs and branches, making a huge but neat pile. This was important to prevent some hungry critter from coming along later and digging up the body. I headed back to the house as the sun was beginning to set.
For Charlie, my best guess is that he was one who was weaned too young. He was advertised with a group of weanling llamas, described as approximately 5 months old. That means they had been weaned prior to that, though llama experts don't recommend weaning before 6 months of age. In all likelihood, his digestive system hadn't developed enough to obtain the nourishment he needed from grass, hay, and grains alone. He still needed his mother's milk. He was hungry and eating, but his body was not capable of absorbing the much needed nutrients, and the probiotics weren't enough to make a difference.
Even though I did everything I knew to do, it is hard not to take this as a personal defeat. As humans, we want to control the circumstances in our lives. We want to control the outcome of the situations we are in, and when they don't turn out as we wish, we demand to know reasons why. We are quicker to blame than to accept. In reality, nature is neither compassionate nor kind. Nor does it place greater value on life than on death. This is difficult for those of us in the modernized 21st century to understand. We don't have enough experiential knowledge of the natural world to understand its processes. We do not understand that some things are beyond our ability to control, and that these things require only acceptance on our part. We do not know how to cope with things that a less industrialized culture accepts with grace.
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| Farewell sweet Charlie |
Failure To Thrive © January 2011 by Leigh
